Please God

Teacher: Hmm, only God knows who'll be saved and who will not. Who will translate this sentence? Let's see. God, you do it!

Yurie: Uh, okay. Da, da, su, ku, wa, na, i, to, wa, ka, mi…

Teacher: Pretty shy for a god, aren't ya?

Boy: Well, I guess she's not the God of Literature Class!

Girl: Hey, mini-god! Can I borrow your gym clothes?

Yurie: Again? Aww, but I just washed them.

Mitsue: Hey, are you all right?

Teacher: Such a clumsy little god we've got.

Matsuri: They don't respect you.

Yurie: What do you think?

Mitsue: Well, it's not like they did before.

Yurie: Oh...

Matsuri: They didn't have to before. Yurie wasn't a god back then. Wanna know why they don't respect you? It's because you haven't done anything splashy and godlike for people around here yet. And here's how we're gonna change all that.

Yurie: What is that?

Matsuri: We're gonna have a festival! It'll be our big yearly event like Carnival in Rio de Janeiro or the Danjiri festival in Kishiwada!

Yurie: I don't like big events.

Mitsue: Isn't it tacky to invent your own festival?

Matsuri: Hey, this is for Yurie! The teachers can put her god status on her school records. It'll be a big help!

Yurie: Yeah?

Mitsue: Calm down. She's pulling your leg.

Yurie: Oh...

Matsuri: Come to my place after school. There's something that I wanna do.

Yurie: I'm exhausted.

Mitsue: I don't even wanna think about how many steps we just climbed.

Matsuri: Do you wanna start living here then?

Yurie: That's a pretty good idea.

Mitsue: But... then you’d climb them even more.

Yurie: Oh yeah, huh?

Miko: Oh, good afternoon.

Matsuri: Oh, welcome home. I was waiting for you. Open up the shrine, okay? We wanna pay our respects to Yashima.

Miko: Huh? What for?

Matsuri: Yurie here will become our exclusive god!

Yurie: Huh? Wait, but when did we decide that?

Mitsue: Hey! It's nice to see you.

Yurie: Hi, Miko.

Matsuri: We salute you. We salute you. Did he come out?

Mitsue: Why'd you ask her?

Matsuri: Because I can't tell. Feel anything?

Yurie: Not really.

Matsuri: That's kind of weird.

Miko: I'm sorry! Yashima hasn't been here for the last three months.

Matsuri: (Gasps.) What do you mean?

Miko: One day, he wasn't here. It was like he ran away. But I couldn't tell... I couldn't tell anyone.

Matsuri: Why not?

Miko: I thought that... it would hurt Daddy's feelings.

Matsuri: Oh. (Sighs.)

Father: I see. You know, it's for the best. It's about time I retired as chief priest.

Matsuri: Huh?

Miko: Huh?

Father: I never was too good at it, anyway. The two of you can run the shrine now. I know you'll do fine. Starting right now, I'm just going to be a farmer. If you have any produce troubles, I’d be happy to help.

Mitsue: Hey, what'd we miss?

Matsuri: He said it himself--he never has been much of a chief priest. Visitors are getting scarce. We’re in pretty deep debt. The bank is even trying to repossess our stuff.

Mitsue: That's just awful.

Miko: But he grows really tasty veggies.

Matsuri: Yeah, he does. But we’re not running a vegetable stand up here.

Miko: We’re going have to work hard to get that debt paid off.

Yurie: Um, I was wondering, is there anything I can do to help?

Matsuri: Funny you should ask. Copy down this character, here.

Yurie: Okay.

Matsuri: Don't mess it up. We're gonna go find that slacker, Yashima.

Miko: Don't say mean things about him.

Mitsue: What makes you think he’s still around here after three months?

Matsuri: Oh, he doesn't have the guts to leave. He's just a local god--he's looking for an excuse to goof off.

Mitsue: How do you know all this?

Matsuri: When I was younger, we talked all the time.

Miko: Yashima misses you. He told me so.

Yurie: Hehe, done! Well?

Mitsue: You're all sparkly. It's pretty cool. Wow.

Matsuri: Cool, huh? But Yurie's body should look completely different also.

Yurie: It doesn't? Maybe 'cause I'm new.

Matsuri: Uh-uh. 'Cause your handwriting sucks.

Yurie: Mmmm.

???: Yashima, huh? Hey, either of you guys see him recently?

???: Uh-uh, uh-uh!

Miko: I see. Thank you all very much for your help.

Mitsue: So I guess this is what our town really looks like, huh?

Yurie: I never woulda guessed that easily.

Matsuri: If you hear anything, you can try to let us know.

???: Sure, I'll let you know.

Mitsue: Ah, ah, ah.

Yurie: Mitsue!

Matsuri: What's up with her?

Miko: Um... are you all right?

Matsuri: Don't get so freaked out. They're just playing around. Let's split up! We can cover more ground that way.

Yurie: We looked everywhere.

Matsuri: Where could he possibly be? Seriously!

Miko: What do we do?

Mitsue: Don't worry, Miko. I'm sure he's gonna turn up somewhere.

Miko: Yeah.

???: Hey, bro! We caught a big one! All right!

???: Oh? Oh, I remember you. Take it easy with the typhoons, okay?

Yurie: Uh, yeah, I will. Sorry. We're looking for someone.

Matsuri: So, is there anywhere around here where gods hang out together?

???: Hey, Grampa, any ideas?

???: Ah, there's a good place on top of that mountain. If memory serves, there should be an entrance up there.

Mitsue: Are we there yet?

Matsuri: I think so. Uh, entrance restricted to members only.

Yurie: I'm a member?

Matsuri: Only one way to find out!

Yurie: Oh, yeah. Miko, I'll find him for you, okay?

Miko: Okay.

Yurie: Huh.

Mitsue: Be careful in there. If it gets dangerous...

Yurie: What do I do?

Mitsue: Be strong!

Yurie: I will! Whoa! Ow.... Huh? Is this the land of the gods?

???:Ahoy! Fancy a ride?

Yurie: Mmm... well, if you don't mind.

???: Yashima you said? Haven't seen him lately.

Yurie: Oh, I see.

???: But that doesn't mean he's not around. Go ahead and look. Take your time.

Yurie: I can't. My friends are waiting.

???: Too bad. Watch your head, Miss.

Yurie: Huh?

???: Here we go.

???: It's been ages since I've gotten any work.

???: You should just count your blessings, VHD! I was antiquated the minute I hit the shelves.

???: Calm down--technology’s a fickle field.

???: Sure, LaserDisc! You’re a fine one to talk!

Yurie: Excuse me.

???: Huh?

Yurie: Have you—have you seen Yashima around here?

???: Hmm, what kind of god is he?

Yurie: Dunno.

???: You know, Miss. It's not like all of us know everybody else.

Yurie: But, why not?

???: Well, there’s an awful lot of gods. They’re everywhere you look.

Yurie: An awful lot? How many gods are there?

???: As many as there are things in the universe, give or take.

Yurie: But... nobody could ever count to a number that big.

???: Now you’re catching up. So, what kind of a god are you, Miss?

Yurie: Actually, I don't know yet.

???: That must be tough.

Yurie: This place--it's so calming. I didn't know there was a temple. Whoa!

???: Real calming, huh?! He's been making that racket for three months now.

Yurie: For three months?

Inuosho: Give it up already.

Yashima: Sorry, it's just I'm a slave to the rhythm, you know?

Inuosho: Yeah? You have to pull yourself together.

Yurie: Hello? Are you the god Yashima?

Inuosho: Well, who is this little girl? Is she an adoring fan?

Yurie: No, it's not like that. I'm, uh... I'm a god. I mean, I guess.

Mitsue: I think the charm's wore off.

Matsuri: It wouldn't kill Yurie to improve her handwriting a little bit.

Mitsue: Anyway, don't push Yurie so hard. She’s just like you and me, so chill out. Ah!

Matsuri: Mosquito. Ah!

Mitsue: I got him.

Yurie: A band?

Yashima: Yeah.

Yurie: You mean like a rock band?

Yashima: Yeah, well. We might play a little bit punk, too, you know? It was last New Year's. I saw Benzaiten's band play on tour. It was so inspiring. I wanted to try it myself. I figured I'd head up to Tokyo and try my luck, you know? But I didn't wanna go alone, so I'm trying to get a band together.

Yurie: Matsuri would let you have a band, wouldn't she?

Yashima: I had to get out of that place. I just wanted to go out and see the world. I couldn't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life as some small-town god.

Yurie: Um, Miko was worried about you.

Yashima: Oh, I see.

Yurie: I guess I don't understand. I've never felt like running away from home before. And I think our town is really pretty nice. But, you know, you shouldn't run away like that without telling anybody. It's been really hard on Miko. And the people from town who go up all those stairs to visit your shrine, they think you’re still there. I don't think it's right just to leave without saying good-bye. Ah, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't talk to a god like that.

Yashima: You’re a god, too, Yurie. Don't forget that.

Yurie: Huh? No! I'm just a girl in junior high school. Don't call me a god. I don't deserve it.

Yashima: Silly. You have so much power inside of you, much more than me. And your heart is uncommonly pure. Let me call you a god, Yurie.

Yurie: So, are you gonna come home?

Yashima: Yeah, I'll come home.

Yurie: I'm glad.

Inuosho: It's for the best. That town really is perfect for you. So don't go quittin' your day job just yet.

Yashima: I can still play on a local band.

Inuosho: You still haven't given up?

Yashima: Of course I haven't. I'll land a record deal. Just you watch.

Inuosho: (Sigh) Just don’t make me listen.

Yurie: I'm back.

Mitsue: I noticed.

Matsuri: How’d it go? Well, did he come back?

Yurie: Yeah, he did.

Miko: I'm glad.

Yashima: I'm sorry.

Miko: I'm really... really glad!

Yashima: I'm so sorry, Miko.

Matsuri: What's happening?

Yurie: He's apologizing.

Matsuri: Don't I get an apology? You left me, too.

Mitsue: You can't even see him.

Matsuri: Hey, it's the thought that counts.

Mitsue: Whatever.

Yahima: Um, this will only take a minute, okay?

Mitsue: Hey, long time no see.

Matsuri: Huh? You're Yashima? No kidding?

Mitsue: Yeah.

Matsuri: It's been forever.

Mitsue: I know. Sorry about all the trouble I caused.

Matsuri: Hey, forgive and forget, right?

Mitsue: Sounds good to me.

Matsuri: This is awesome!

Man: We've got a winner!

Mitsue: Huh, nothing cool ever happens to me.

Miko: Ah, Mitsue, can you do me a favor?

Yurie: Just say hello, that's it, right?

Matsuri: Of course. I'll get you when they're done out there.

Yurie: Okay. Huh, that was embarrassing. Aah!

Ninomiya: Don't jump. It shakes the table.

Yurie: Ninomiya, why are you here?

Ninomiya: Who are you?

Yurie: Yurie Hitotsubashi.

Ninomiya: Oh, you're the one.

Yurie: Huh? Ah. What are you doing back here?

Ninomiya: Working. Matsuri has me write stuff for the shrine sometimes.

Yurie: Oh, I guess that makes sense. Um, Kenji?

Ninomiya: Huh?

Yurie: Well, I mean... Ninomiya, do you believe what they say--that... I'm a god?

Ninomiya: Well, aren't you one?

Yurie: Yeah, officially.

Ninomiya: Then, I believe it. It doesn't matter to me.

Yurie: Huh? Oh...

Ninomiya: But being a god is pretty cool.

Yurie: Huh?

Ninomiya: Yeah, just look at how happy you've made everybody today.

Father: I picked these all this morning.

Ninomiya: I wish my calligraphy could do that.

Yurie: But, I didn't even do anything.

Matsuri: Yurie! C'mon out!

Yurie: Huh? I have to go.

Ninomiya: Heya, could you take these with you?

Oh? Uh, yeah.

Mitsue: Alright! Yeah!

Audience: Yeah!

Matsuri: And now I'll bring you today, today's main event! Join us in welcoming the Raifuku Shrine's newest face, the first junior high school girl-god all of Japan! You know her, you love her: Yurie Hitotsubashi!

Yurie: My name is Yurie Hitotsubashi and I'm a god now. I’m still figuring out how to be one, but I'll do my best. Thank you for coming out today.

Matsuri: Okay, everybody. Who wants to hear Yurie sing a song? This song is called "Please God". Here we go!

Yurie: Huh?

-- ED --

Has anybody seen our cat Tama?

She hasn't been home for three days now.

I wonder if she's run away from home, too.

The next episode is "I Didn't Mean it". I'll Chu to you!